We Took the Easy Way Out

"This much is clear to me: If there is a villain in this tragedy, it lies in that investigation and not in Joe Paterno's response.”
-Phil Knight

If only life were that simple.

Watching the reactions to the most recent sexual abuse scandal, this time focusing on Jerry Sandusky and those individuals and organizations around him, made something abundantly clear. When confronted by our failings, we retreat to easy answers and avoid the reality that we don’t want to face the true issues at hand. Our efforts to emote our reponses collectively and individually look to simple ideas that reflect what we wish to be, rather than dealing with the fact that the real villains remain.

You and I.

Our news articles, letters to the editor, Facebook posts and tweets these past weeks and months reflected points of view either idolizing or castigating, attacking individuals and organizations involved as the face of evil or alternatively, earthbound gods incapable of error, either intentional or through omission.

The result? The true tragedy, the exploitation of our youth, and most importantly how we resolve to avoid future injustices, is ignored as we stake out our positions. We get tied up in protecting what we thought we knew to be true, rather than realizing that those involved are like us, full of good intentions, pasts of great deeds, and yet struggle to make good decisions day in and day out. We are all fallible, just, and unjust. Neither yin nor yang, but the interaction of both.

Some of us fought hard to protect those accused of doing less than was needed. Our loyalty was important to us. We knew and continue to know the great work of those trapped in the aftermath of Jerry Sandusky’s alleged (but most likely) actions. When hard questions were brought up questioning our (flesh and institutional) idols, our natural instinct was and is to turn the table and accuse those on the other side of being self-righteous and preinclined to blame; agendas are assumed.

Others of us inherently understood that institutions, structures and heroes were self-absorbed and interested only in protecting the status quo. Those involved were dishonorable, and anyone that sought to protect or justify those accused were only one short step away from the same moral downfalls.

Think back upon the social media posts, media reports and editorials of the past few weeks and months. Hard lines and strong words were exchanged with anyone who dared bring up the possibility that our instincts were not correct. In most cases, language made it clear that other opinions were not to be broached.

Where were the discussions on how we need to go forward as a community to work toward a time when uncomfortable acts and truths no longer allow abuses of our children to continue?

These acts, including not only the crimes but also the reactions of those around the accused, and those of us that watch and judge, are not unique. Abuse has been with us through time, and have surfaced in our recent past through the scandals of the Catholic Church, the Brooklyn ultra-Orthodox community and the Sandusky case, to name only a few.

When we announce that our position is the only possible starting and ending point, and refuse to admit that all of us are subject to both failings and great virtue, we remove the issues from reality. We allow our emotions to overtake truth and real possibilities of discovering why we are afraid to confront tragic, awful decisions by those around us.

When we announce that we are unconditionally correct, and refuse to consider other points of view, we push the victims to the back and ensure that rational attempts to protect those in the future will not succeed. The past few weeks have sadly made it more likely that future sexual abuse will be buried, if for no other reason than to avoid the spotlight shone on Penn State. Why risk being judged, when we can bury potential abuses and hope that they are somehow missed, forgotten or incorrect?

As in the religious scandals, those around Sandusky were not evil nor saints. They were good people confronted with difficult choices. We may boldly state that we’d do better, that we’d immediately do the right thing, but history teaches us otherwise. Time after time, people choose to ask the system (workplace heirarchy, the boss, our leaders, etc.) to take over responsibility. We pass the buck then display disbelief that those above us didn’t act more forcefully.

Everyone has a superior. Everyone answers to someone else. The system is prone and built for deniability.

For the community to move forward, we need to decide that using the system is not enough. Protocol is not an excuse. We must know that those above us will be no more interested in facing the accusations than we are, so we must act, even when we must admit that our friends, colleagues, superiors and idols are fallible. As we are.

Those of us watching need to allow our beliefs to be questioned.

Abuse cannot be turned away from, only to be ignored as we stake out positions on matters that in the end, are less important.

Signed comments are welcome and appreciated. If you comment, please own it! I encourage everyone to use our real names to reinforce thoughtful conversation.

While all opinions are welcome, please discuss and argue points, rather than attacking individuals. Thanks for visiting!